2009 NFL Power Rankings (as of May 29)

1. New England Patriots
Tom Brady is back and healthy. Sucks for the rest of the league.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
Tough to argue with the past few years.
3. Baltimore Ravens
Most people are predicting greater things for the other rookie QB sensation, Matt Ryan, but we like Joe Flacco's situation (and defense) much more.
4. Dallas Cowboys
This is a make or break year in Big D; changes are already occurring, but look out for shockwaves if this team underachieves in Jer-uh's shiny new palace. If Jason Garrett will take advantage of the league's best playaction roster, Dallas will finally live up to the talent level on their team.
5. Philadelphia Eagles
Donovan looked rejuvenated after his half-time benching last year. We're not as in love with the Maclin pick as most seem to be, and the loss of Brian Dawkins combined with Jim Johnson's ongoing health issues raises serious red flags in our minds about their defense, but Philly always seems to get better as the season goes along.
6. Indianapolis Colts
As long as Peyton is there, Indianapolis will have a chance to go deep into the playoffs. Look for Donald Brown to take Joseph Addai's job. Literally. If Indy isn't your favorite team, Addai may be on your roster after this season.
7. San Diego Chargers
There are lingering concerns about most of their marquee players, but, if they all prove healthy, this is a team that could end up at the top of this list.
8. Minnesota Vikings
If Sage Rosencopter can keep from gift-wrapping the ball for the opposing team, the Vikings should take advantage of their built-for-the-playoffs roster. If Favre ends his hibernation, we'll drop the Vikings down a few spots. That's right, they'll be worse if he plays for them.
9. New York Giants
Next year will be a step back for Eli and the G-Men because of Plaxico Burress' absence. New York looked like an above-average team down the stretch without him last year. Nicks will eventually grow into a top-tier receiver in the league, but even a good rookie season won't be enough.
10. New Orleans Saints
The Saints, like the Chargers, have the potential to end up much higher on this list at the end of the season. If they can get anything out of Darren Sharper, Tracy Porter, and Malcolm Jenkins, look for New Orleans to add 3 - 5 wins to their 2008 total. Vegas has the Saints' over/under win total at 8.5. Bet the over.
11. Tennessee Titans
A step back for a team that lost some players and has some uncertainty at quarterback.
12. Green Bay Packers
The Packers should be a competitive team, but the transition to the 3-4 is not made in one year.
13. Houston Texans
Houston will continue their streak of being on the cusp of a becoming a consistently tough opponent.
14. Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jags will miss Fred Taylor more than they anticipate. If Greg Jones continues his streak of not being healthy for an entire season, the lack of a power runner in Jacksonville will put far too much pressure on David Garrard.
15. Carolina Panthers
If Jake Delhomme stays healthy and consistent (two very big "ifs"), the Panthers will ride DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart up this list.
16. Chicago Bears
Cutler doesn't do as much for us as he seems to for everyone else. The same goes for the Bears' defense. Translation? Disappointment.
17. Atlanta Falcons
Matt Ryan certainly looks like the real deal, but with little to no defense in Atlanta, he'll have to wait for a few more years to be on a powerhouse team.
18. Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins have the unfortunate task of playing in a very difficult division and having a very difficult overall schedule. Plus, no one will overlook Miami on the schedule this year.
19. San Francisco 49ers
Mike Singletary helped transform this underachieving unit into one that at least plays hard, but it hasn't been long enough for him to make them consistent winners.
20. Seattle Seahawks
It's somewhat of a travesty that the Seahawks will probably make the playoffs. This division makes my ass hurt.
21. Arizona Cardinals
Fluke.
22. Denver Broncos
Josh McDaniels may surprise a few people. And Bill Bellichick might write poetry.
23. Buffalo Bills
T.O. will certainly bring a lot to the football field in Buffalo, but it just seems like if Owens ripped apart Philadelphia and came close to tearing apart Dallas, he'll take one giant dump on Buffalo.
24. New York Jets
Dirty Sanchez may hook up with models during the week, but one year of college football probably won't prepare him for hooking up with Ray-Ray on Sundays.
25. Washington Redskins
Hugely overpaying for DeAngelo Hall and Albert Haynesworth? Check. Figuring out how to build a winning football franchise? Erm....
26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Anytime a franchise cleans house because the coach isn't a "player's coach" and then replaces him with a young guy that all of the players feel like is 'one of the guys', that franchise usually sucks balls.
27. Detroit Lions
Surprised that the Lions aren't at the bottom of this list? So are they.
28. Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals, in a season of make or break consequences for just about everyone on the team and coaching staff, whack off.
29. Cleveland Browns
Eric "Give Me Another Panini" Mangini has proven that anything outside of the X's and O's of being an NFL head coach eludes him. Too bad that encompasses a lot of shit.
30. Kansas City Chiefs
While they're headed in the right direction, the Chiefs have a few more years of being bad and at least one more year of being punched-in-the-nuts-by-Kimbo-Slice bad.
31. St. Louis Rams
I literally finished this ranking exercise and noticed I only had 31 teams. This is that missing team.
32. Oakland Raiders
Until Al Davis finally admits that he died in 1991, the Raiders will be mired in mediocrity at best, and seasons like the next one at worst.